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just a few things i've written. they aren't great.
so much time i have wasted
blameing it on you, and what you've put me through
well my eyes, they've been opened
to a new destination in my heart
that i've never explored before
discovering new boundaries and realizing
that not living, is no way to live at all
dwelling on the past to make
things perfect in the present
never really works.
my eyes have been opened right before me
and i'm ready to jump into a life i've always dreamed of
after all i've been through
it's time to recapture what i've been missing
take my hand, just one more time
i promise i won't let you fall.
follow me and we can be happy together
you're my obsession
my extra push to life
my secret, my passion
make me remember you as the one that accepted me
and helped me find the real me
with the life i've dreamed of
- yeah.. this one is kinda sappy. it's not my favorite.
when you look into my eyes
do you see a reflection of yourself?
because you're all that i see.
i have let you become my everything.
when you look into my eyes
do you see my heart break apart
as i watch you walk away?
i have let you become my everything.
don't make me feel like i've lost my world.
you already have my heart
don't shame me of my heart & sould, and it's desires.
-
i wonder how it's going to be
when you're not around anymore
because right now i feel complete
don't take away my wholeness
and my new ability to feel
i'm a friend asking for more then a friendship
i'm a lover asking for your heart
give it a chance.
i'm undeniably devoted to you
just don't take away my wholeness
don't abandon me with my hearts incomplete pieces
-the subtitle to this was "never become emotionally attached"
my hearts torn in two
it's all up to you
show me you feel the same way
because my heart is worth too much
just to be put on hold.
-am i sencing some self esteem from justina?
it's happened.. it was bound to happen soon enough. my conscious has taken it's course to fuck with my mind. recently your eyes have become distant, turning my heart to ice. then we lock eyes, and stare into eachothers souls, you make me smile.. and my heart just melts away. but at time your eyes look empty, and so my heart follows. my heart feels more, but my mind knows the truth. i can't ever have all of you, so why give you all of me? i'm in too deep. i realize i can't always get what i want. but the one thing i know is for sure, is that you can't lie when your heart has been unknowingly taken by someone who might not even want it, nor even knows it has been handed to them. not strong enough for loss, but able to deal. i might not deserve your heart, but you've taken mine over. it's yours to keep. just stay close with me. there's always a price to pay.. for wearing your heart on your sleeve.
-
my weak heart is in the palm of your hand
are you going to prove yourself to be like all the others?
will you break it into pieces, and scatter them across the ground.
and when you turn to walk away from me, you'll step all over it, shattering them into infinite meaningless scraps.
and i won't know what feels worse... seeing my heart shattered all over the place by someone i trusted. or seeing you walk away, knowing what you did, and realizing you'll never come back.
why? because i know no different. prove to me i'm wrong, make me believe i deserve to be happy. i just need to be loved.. just once.
-
the haunting feeling
of being alone
has creeped its way back into my
heart, once again.
when you finally think
you have everything
figured out, something
always fucks you over.
'noones life is perfect
what makes you think
yours should be?'
they all ask blindly,
as if they don't wish
for the same as me..
but the difference between me, and them..
is that know i'm alone..
it's all i know.
it's all i'll ever be.
-
your eyes see through
my masked, pretend played life
exhausted from lying "yeah.. everything is ok"
you've let yourself in.
and we can start my counting the
holes in my heart
"you think it's easy being lonely"
your heart breaks and it
takes so much to rebuild the
memories lost & broken.
how many times can a girls heart be broken
until it can't be fixed.
your eyes.. see right through me
to my secret soul & world
you won't like what you're about to see...
-
this silent obsession is building up inside of me.
making my heart skip 3 beats.. and all you have to do is cross my mind. your voice sends chills down my spine. i dream about how it could be. then i wonder.. could i ever make anyone feel like you do for me? is it possible for anyone to duplicate your perfection? your flaws i see as perfect. my perfect, silent, world.
-
the nights have become long and turn to cold and silence. my heart is screaming on the inside prying to break free. my emotions cloud my head with lies i allow myself to believe. before realizing ive created my own nightmare, thats turned into a disease.. it starts at your heart and then eats away at your spine leaving you nothing but crippled and numb. screaming, eventho noone seems to notice. trying to find and escape from the mind born nightmares. thumbing thru blank and empty pages realizing my life has become the same. what happens when you wake up, and you're living the nightmare, and the disease has already started knawing at your heart..
the air has grown cold as the wind blows thru my body. the echo of cries made in the place that used to hold my heart. and late at night, when the rain beats upon my windo i am reminded of the way my heart used to beat for you. do you remember the way we would embrace? almost afraid to never let go. and the nights became cold, my lungs turn to ice. unable to breathe and left alone with only visions of what used to be. i'm not letting go. i'm hanging on by a thread. searching for a place where i belong. but it's hard to move on when you've already handed over your hear ro someone else. with the hopes they can keep you alive.
i think that's enough embarssment for now
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